Taro (mother2012) wrote,

I feel so hopeless. I knew that funding Raederle going to college was not going to be an easy thing, but now that push has come to shove, 'they' expect us to take out a PLUS loan of $23,000. We can't do that. Even if we had the money to pay such a thing back, we're in bankruptcy and therefore forbidden to incur any debt.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to tell her that it isn't going to happen. I don't want to see her become as hopeless as I am. She deserves to go. I fuckin' deserve for her to go! But there aren't scholarships for low-middle class white girls. Even if they show marvellous initiative, intelligence, thoughtfulness, and good grades. Nor is there government help. Everyone else in her school has only to apply to be offered six or seven scholarships. Because they're black.

I can't even go to work, save money so that she could go after another year. It takes all the energy I've got to make progress on the house. Maybe a year from now, I'll get it together and have more time. But I wasn't able to do more than part-time three years ago, and I'm not better than I was then. I'm just crying and crying today, since I got the funding notice. There's nothing I can do.

And you, my beloved flist, have pretty much deserted me. I know everyone is busy with their own problems and plans and going to ORC. And I deeply wish for all of you a wonderful time. Or a positive resolution to your own problems.
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