Taro (mother2012) wrote,

I'm not looking for advice, or even sympathy. I just need to write it down.

Last night I experienced the worst pain of my life. Hmm ... well, maybe not worse than childbirth. I screamed then, too. Couldn't see any reason not to; I really don't care whether it bothered the staff or not.

But I have had teeth drilled without painkiller; not if it's going into the nerve mind you - that would just be stupid. But a bit of pain is better than the inconvenience of a numb jaw for half a day. So yeah, I can take pain without flipping out.

I have had this happen before, but never nearly so bad. Sometimes, when I haven't been eating right and I move wrong, I have a pain down my thigh that feels for all the world like a broken bone. I won't be able to move without it recurring, and have to stand motionless for a time - a minute or five - until my cramped muscles believe that it won't happen again and let go. I call this being 'stuck'.

My theory is this: Acidic blood from too much sugar desolves bone. It will get weakened, scuffed bone, where it's protective shell is thin. The thigh bone with the replaced-hip-spike down inside it has no protection at all, except that it simply isn't supposed to be exposed to that acidic blood. For some reason, when I have been weak in my will power and eaten too much sugar (as has been the case most of this year), it can get to that raw bone.

Then I move wrong, and the spike twists in it's encasing bone and voila! Pain!

It's never been so bad before. Usually I just kind of gasp and stand still until it releases, and then I have to be careful for a while. This time it didn't release. I couldn't move. I was fortunate in being close to the refrigerator and could grasp it's handle. I couldn't do anything to make it release. Usually, after a moment, I can lift my knee and something about that position and use of muscles releases it. This time I couldn't even shift my weight to the other foot. At all. Any attempt brought on pain enough that I actually screamed.

Eventually, Daughter heard me from clear up in the attic and came down. She held me for a bit, relieving some of my tension, positioned the kitchen stool where I would be able, eventually, to get at it, and tried to make suggestions. Bit by bit, and with a whole lot of pain, I was able to swivel my toe, then the other foot, so that I (literally) turned on my heel. Once I got my back to the stool, I could lean backward onto a low counter and slowly! get down to the stool. From the time I got stuck until I was sitting was about 45 minutes.

It didn't get better for the evening. I took plenty of pain pills, relaxers, and a sleeping pill and went to bed, fully expecting to be back to normal today.

But it has bit me once already this morning. It's going to be a long day. In which I shall eat nothing sweet!
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