Taro (mother2012) wrote,

Women and Gay Sex, Part II, New 'poll'

To continue this fascinating discussion ... I didn't want to just answer each comment, since I think we are all interested in this topic, or wouldn't be discussing it.

Of 17 responses, 10 said they're definitely interested in both. I guess that doesn't surprise me.

Only 2 said that it is specifically the personality, and another 2 that it is specifically the sex. That *did* surprise me.

The other 3 went with something that I should have included, but didn't think to. Called variously Emotion, Romance or Fannish convention, I think what they're getting at is simply finding the softer side of a man. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

This may in fact be a larger issue than 3 votes out of 17. When I think about it, a lot of my own fascination is this men-behaving-as-though-they-have-feelings thing which we Fans have promulgated.

The husband of the woman who wrote the Highlander series, which was phenomenally popular - with women - commented to her that she didn't understand a thing about men. He may well have been right. But men might take note that this is what we *want* them to be like!

Personally, I most identify with ink_gypsy's Anne Rice quote: "In my head, I am a gay man." But why is that? What makes me feel that way? What about it appeals to me? And I think it may well boil done to that 'finding the softer side of a man.' Wanting him to be tender, romantic, and vulnerable. Which a straight man just can't do. Manly men feel that revealing any weakness at all is immasculating. That they are 'giving up their power' when they allow themselves to show vulnerability.

So I guess the next question comes down to "How do you like your man?"

Assuming that you prefer sex with men rather than women, there are still 'types' within each sex that attract you, and types that don't. For instance, my type will not have any of the following characteristics: retarded, uneducated, prejudiced, bullying, unfair, illogical, significantly overweight, wears his pants around his knees. That part was easy. What *IS* my type, though? I like a man not just 'unfat' but almost skinny. I'm not interested in a lot of muscle; though I can appreciate it aesthetically, it doesn't turn me on. I like a man to be a little bit effeminate, but not flamingly so. I have no interest in cross-dressing. (One gay man I 'dated' actually put on a dress for me, thinking I would like it. I didn't.) I am certainly influenced by a man's ability to talk with me, not at me, and to be able to discuss emotional and personality-type things, not just hard-and-fast stuff like work and politics. He has to listen to me, not just sweep me off my feet. In fact, being swept off my feet is a bit of a turnoff.

So what are your types? I considered doing a formal poll, but I want to be able to keep responses within the context of preferences. For instance, if you like gay men for the personality, or like to read slash for the romance, then I'm looking for whether there is a pattern to the personality or body type that goes with that.

So, if you will, answer each of the following, choose all that apply, and add any other answer you may think of:

First, restate in as few words as possible what it is that you like about slash and/or gay men, possible answers including but not limited to (and not necessarily only one): Personalities of gay men, The hot sex, The softer side of men, Feminizing a man, Sticking it to him, Identifying with the Top, Identifying with the Bottom.

Body type preference:
Muscular, Tall, Big (like Dan Blocker - sorry can't think of a more contemporary example); Slender, Short, Older or Younger than yourself

Facial preference:
Rugged, Harsh, Prominent chin, Weathered, Pointed, Soft, Effeminate, Elegant

Tailored, Elegant, Suits, High fashion, Trendy, T-shirts, Casual, Low-slung pants

Personality (while I've paired these, choose whichever you want):
Dominating or Giving, Commanding or Involved, Experienced or Innocent, Self-assured or Sweet, Knowledgeable or Helpless, Distant or Romantic, Masculine or Feminine, Vulnerable or Invulnerable, Superman or Spiderman, Frodo or Aragorn, Faramir or Boromir
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