Taro (mother2012) wrote,

If I could save time in a bottle ...

I think most of us realize that we could do so much better by ourselves, our world, and those we love if we but had more time. That isn't true for everyone, of course. For far too many it would be more time to use drugs - or more time in pain. And for those whose self-image is wrapped around their jobs, more unemployed time is no blessing.

But especially for people who blog, more time would mean more time for writing, for family, for friends, and for hobbies.

At 63, I can't even say, "Maybe in a year or two. Or ten." Because I have no assurance whatsoever that my health will allow much activity into the future. I realize that no one has such assurance, but the chances decrease, you know.

I have figured out that I want to write and do crafts. But both of these are 'extras' - things that don't need to be done to keep the household going. They are merely important, not urgent. And I am surrounded with urgency.

I came home from ConClave newly inspired to write. Since then I have:

Washed dishes and clothes and fixed food,
Done grocery shopping,
Done lumber shopping,
Arranged for financing for 'new' car (a 3-day project),
Arranged to sell 'old' car (using 5 or 6 hours),
Paid bills,
Worked on the storage shelter outside (about 2 hours).

Looking at it, it's not a very long list, is it? Surely I could get more into a day?

Except that Brain shuts down about 6:00 pm. After that it will not be pursuaded to do any of those things, or even any of the things I *want* to do, except read. Somehow, I *must* recapture those hours. Somehow, I *must* extend the useable hours per day.

I'm back on the right track again. I haven't had chocolate all week, and my legs are responding favorably. And yesterday I was depressed, nearly crying over small things, so I took 10 B50 pills. I feel much better today. Son asked me what I was doing, so I explained and then gave him five. He demanded more today, telling me that he hasn't had a depressed moment since he took them. I guess I should have foisted them on him sooner. Being out of work, unable to pay child support, and his financé breaking up with him, he's been nearly suicidal. If he could acquire some motivation, it would relieve a lot of pressure on me.

Now Daughter is sick. I'm fearing strep.


But I *will* write! Somehow I will find the time everyday; budget it into the schedule.

I went to the Sanctuary Press Writer's Workshop at ConClave. I didn't dream of getting as much out of it as I did.

They accept up to 8 applications each year. You have to send in something that you are working on - up to 5000 words - about a month before the Con. I expected that someone would read and critique, and that would be about it. But each of the panel members - five in this case - read and critique your writing. AND each of the other 'students'. AND some other members of the group that sponsors it. I had potentially 11 crits, but one went home sick, one had overextended his Con activities, and one never showed. But I ended up with a LOT of useful advice!

Now, I knew I could write, but I know a lot of fanfic writers right here who are better. So I was hoping at best for something like: you have a good command of English, but you can't hold audience interest. What I did not expect was "This has a lot of potential, where are you going with it?" And, the words that ring in my ears, "You'll be publised before I will."

If I live that long.

But seriously, this story I have in my head is kind of dated, and if I don't get it to a publisher within a year, it will definitely be 'give up' time. So I will do it. I will get this story done and submitted. Goal - August.

What does that mean I have to give up?
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