The threatened philosophy has finally arrived!
There are religious opinions and propositions that many may find offensive.
Quote from chapter:
"Anyway, forgive me if I put this in Christian terms. It’s not
because I think that Christianity is more right than any other,
but just that it’s what I’m familiar with. A verse I’ve memorized
from the Bible is Acts 2:17 - ‘And it shall come to pass in the
last days, saith God, I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh:
and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young
men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams.’
Rated: Series: NC-17 or E, Chapter 16: PG
Series: Non-con sex. Unconsciousness. Threesome, het and slash sex.
Toward the end there's some philosophy.
Contains opinions, assumptions and situations that some might find offensive.
Medical issues are based on my experience with frostbite, information from the internet, and common sense. They are pretty much correct, but I have ignored a thing or two. It is, however, a whole lot more accurate than "Forever Young."
This is entirely written, so you don't need to worry about whether it gets finished. However, while I certainly appreciate that not everyone gives feedback to every chapter (including me), if I don't get much of any positive feedback, I will probably lose interest in posting.
Type: RP het/slash
Disclaimer: This is fiction. And not intended even to be wise. While some of these characters may be based on real people, I don't personally know them. I made it all up out of my perverted little head.
No, I don't make any money at this.
Archive: No, please.
Feedback: Please feed me. Praise is lovely. Constructive criticism is valued. If you find nothing of value in it, though, please don't bother telling me. You wouldn't be the first person.
Beta: The wonderful elfellon111, who warned me that this may be very controversial.
A DomLijah Story
Didn’t I Tell You All Things are Possible?
Ellen lay still, watching them: Dom sleeping on top of Elijah, who stroked his lover’s hair and back for a while. Eventually, though, he rolled Dom to the side and turned toward Ellen. "Thank you," he said.
She smiled broadly, believing that she understood the ‘thank you’ to mean the whole gestalt; the care for him, the sexual unfolding, and the reconciliation with Dom. Not to mention what had to have been a truly erotic experience just past. "My pleasure," she replied with very sincere irony.
He caressed her face, really studying it for the first time. "I think I could have loved you," he said.
"There are many kinds of love, and all of them to be cherished. I am content that you do love me, in some ways." She pulled his head to her shoulder. "Sleep some more, sweetheart."
He nuzzled his head down lower, found a nipple, brought his hands to hold her breast where he wanted it, and suckled happily. Again Ellen was overcome with the beauty of the action, her physical and psychological reactions both electric and intense. She put her arms around him, painfully aware how close it was now to morning, to the return to ‘normal’ life. But she was tired and when he drifted into sleep, she did also.
She awoke to the sound of coughing. Elijah still lay sleeping against her, but Dom was getting up. As her cloudy brain figured out that he was the one coughing, he went to the door and, still totally naked, slipped out. Hastily pulling on her nightgown, she followed.
The bathroom door was closed. She expected he had probably gone there, and waited outside. Sure enough, in a moment, he opened the door. She put her hand on his chest to stop him. "I’d like to talk to you. I think the bedroom is still empty." He nodded and she took his hand, led to that room, locked the door behind them.
"You might wrap up in a sheet. You’re too tempting to look at, and I really do want to talk." As Dom obligingly yanked the sheet off the bed and draped it around himself, she added, "And please lie down."
He complied easily. "So what did you want to talk about?"
Ellen hesitated. She knew what she wanted to convey, but how? She studied him, so sweet and young, now that the anger was gone.
"First I want to apologize."
He raised his eyebrows, inquiring.
"I didn’t understand. About you two." She hesitated. "I mean, I knew, but I didn’t understand."
Dom’s eyes unfocused, looking into the distance. "What’s to understand? I love him."
"I know that. I knew that. But ..." How to explain this?
"Listen, I know you’re into Zen. Maybe you know this already, but let me say it." She hesitated, debating where to begin.
"Most people ... ," she changed her mind again about her direction and started over. "Most people are born with two or three goals to accomplish during life. The first one is karma - to work toward neutralizing built-up karma."
"I would agree with that." Dom was surprised and amazed. He would never have expected this ... bitch ... to be knowledgeable about such things. In the pleasure of the discovery, he even forgot for a moment that the subject was supposed to be about Elijah. "We come here to learn," he said, "and when we make mistakes it causes karma."
"Yeah!" Ellen's face lit up. "Exactly! I was about to say that the second reason is learning. I see the Earth plane as a school. We come here to learn, sometimes kicking and screaming but usually with our own agreement. Like any school, we’d rather be home but we agree that we do want to learn. We go home in between for vacations."
"I like that analogy. It would be like a boarding school where you stay for the whole semester."
"Yes. And it begins to feel like it’s your real home."
"And sometimes it’s fun and sometimes it’s just damn hard."
"Precisely." Ellen found herself becoming excited and enthusiastic in response to his comprehension. "And like a school semester, there are certain particular things to be learned. When you’ve got those, you’re done, and can take that vacation." Then she added musingly, "Which may be why people say the good die young."
Dom looked at her sharply. Just who was she saying was so good they would die young? "Are you implying something?"
"No!" hastily. Because maybe she was. "No, but I do believe that once you’ve done the required stuff, you have the option to get out, to die, if you wish. I think most people choose to stay, because of our natural human fear of death and, like I said, this feels like our real home.
"Anyway, there’s a third goal. To help out on the Earth plane. To give back. I believe - I am sure - that most people do want to give back, to leave something enduring behind. I expect most of us do that with our children, but a lot of people do it in a bigger way."
"Everybody wants to leave a mark on the world," Dom concurred.
"And that gets down to what I am implying." She hesitated.
"And that would be ..."
She still hesitated, and decided to go around the barn one more time. "Some people come into life when they have no karma and no lesson to learn. They come just to contribute, to make life better for everyone."
Unbidden, a memory flashed through Dom's mind. The memory of the first time he felt a connection with the strange but fascinating Hollywood boy during a break in training, while Peter argued with Stuart.
Dom sat in lotus position, trying to find the calm place within him. His excitable nature wanted to jump into the argument, and he knew that was the wrong thing to do. He hummed an 'aum' softly to himself, trying to drown out everything else, put himself on the plane of being where these human emotions didn't matter.
As his pulse slowed and his brain rhythms descended, his awareness of his surroundings sharpened while simultaneously becoming more distant and unrelated to him. And he was aware of someone settling down opposite him. He expected a comment, there was only silence; but a distinctive odor wafted past his nose, and he knew who it was. With Elijah sitting in front of him, he couldn't settle back into his private space.
Eventually he opened his eyes to find the Yankee Doodle sitting quietly in imitation of Dom's posture, watching him, his ever-present clove cigarette dangling at one knee. They simply looked at each other for a while without speaking. But Dom had been attracted to the shy boy from the start and wanted to connect with him.
"What're you thinking about, Elijah?"
"Hi Dom." Elijah didn't answer the question right away, and Dom waited. He allowed his mind to wander over the landscape.
"I'm thinking about Frodo," Elijah said after a bit.
"Well, there's a surprise."
"No, I mean Frodo's journey." He paused for long enough that Dom was about to say something else, but then Elijah continued.
"Frodo starts out so innocent, but at the same time he's educated and worldly. He wants to know about the outside world but hasn't had a real chance or reason to go there." He paused to draw on his cigarette, let the smoke out in a stream. "So he takes a journey, and he learns all these things. About ... well, about people, I guess. It's always about people."
Again he paused for a bit and Dom said gently, "There's nothing more interesting than people."
"Well, we're actors." Elijah replied. "We study people. Does everyone else do that? I don't know."
"But I was thinking ..." Another draw on his cigarette. Dom practically held his breath, realizing that Elijah was nervous. He was working up to saying something from the heart, and not sure how Dom would take it.
"Frodo was young for a hobbit," he said finally. "I mean, he was long out of his 'tweens, but not all that old. And like I said there was an innocence to him. So he wasn't all that different from me. Leaving a sheltered life and going out into the big, bad world to seek his fortune."
Again there was a long silence and finally Dom asked, "So are you afraid that your journey will end like Frodo's?"
Elijah turned to look at him sharply, his face drawn into a slight frown by the depth of his thoughts, but then suddenly he grinned at Dom. Like the sun coming out.
"Well, maybe I am," he laughed. Then immediately turned serious again. "On my own, without my family. I've just never been anywhere without ... without my family before. And here I'm doing so much, getting so much new experience, learning ... Mom wouldn't approve of everything I'm learning."
Dom was rather impressed by this conversation. How many men are willing to explore their feelings and their 'journey' in this way? Out loud to a friend?
"You've got a new family," he suggested.
"Yes," Elijah concurred. "I do. Like Frodo, I've got a Fellowship. And it's more important not to let them down, than my family. Because if I don't succeed, then I will have let down the people back home as much as the Fellowship."
Dom felt a chill go through him at the depth of this truth. Elijah was so young to have figured this out. And so inexperienced. Where had he learned such wisdom?
But Elijah hadn't quite finished the thought. He sighed, almost forlornly. "But when I go home, will they know me? How much will I have changed? Will I still be the son, the brother, the friend, that I was before I left? Or will I have actually moved on to the Undying Lands in spirit? Like they say, 'You can't go home again.'"
"In other words, How will your journey end?" Dom asked. He giggled a bit. "I doubt you're going to end up giving your life to save everybody."
Elijah turned back to him and gave him a long, appraising look. "Frodo is a Christ-figure," he said. "I'm just a kid on my own journey."
That disclaimer didn't have the logical result on Dom. The hairs on his arms stood up. This kid is truly special, he thought.
"Ellen," Dom said her name deliberately, semi-consciously allowing her to have a name, be a real person instead of just 'the bitch'. "Are you saying you think that’s Elijah?"
Ellen wasn’t really surprised at this point that Dom should make that leap, but she was rather awed. This was the man that a few hours ago she thought it wouldn't matter all that much if he died. Disgusted with herself, she just nodded.
"I think so too," he said.
Ellen swallowed a lump of emotion that was suddenly clogging her throat. "What I started out to say," she said, bringing the topic back to the present, "is that I hadn’t realized that you are part of that."
"Part of it? I believe I’m part of it. But I’m not like him. Elijah is ..., " he fumbled trying to find a word.
"I’m not so sure you’re not." Ellen reached out to stroke Dom’s face. "When you’re looking at him, I see perfect love."
Dom ducked his head, blushing. There was silence for a moment, since he really didn’t know how to reply to that.
Finally he looked up at her, his face suddenly twisted. "What I don’t understand, is how you ... why he ...," again he could find no way to say the awful words.
"Why he agreed to have sex with me?"
Dom nodded, his face reddening.
"I’ve thought about that."
Again she paused to collect her thoughts. "I’ve always said there are three levels to anything: physical, mental, and spiritual.
"On a physical level, I think that he just needed to feel a connection with the person who had saved his life."
"But we ..."
"No, wait a minute ‘til I’m done. Let’s add emotional in here - he knew how badly I wanted to touch him, and I think he wanted to please me.
"Then on the mental level." She became very earnest. "On the mental level, Dom, I don’t think he ever wants to be away from you." Then, thoughtful again, "Or maybe that’s the emotional level again. Maybe there isn’t a difference. You were on his mind all the time. Maybe it was a way of denying that you could die. Maybe he rationalized it that it wasn’t betraying you if he was with a woman. A lot of people do feel that way, and it is a different experience."
She kind of grinned dismissively. "And anyway, as a young man, how much excuse do you need?"
Dom was looking up at the ceiling. "I felt betrayed," he said simply.
"And that’s why I feel I need to apologize to you."
"No. Lighe needs to apologize to me."
Ellen sighed. "Spiritual level," she said.
"There’s another consideration." She floundered here. How to put it without sounding like she’d gone over the edge?
"What?" Dom asked again.
"This is going to sound crazy."
"This whole situation is crazy."
"Before I tell you this, I want to tell you about the vision Elijah had in the car." She told him about the angels, who told Elijah that help was coming, and carried him out of the car.
"Few people have that kind of experience, Dom," she finished.
In the following silence, Dom reviewed the flash of memory. He almost said to her, 'If anyone would have that experience, it's Elijah'. But that was kind of her point, really.
A knock on the door interrupted the silence. Ellen opened it and Mary came in.
"What’s the story?" she asked, taking in the situation as being pretty much as she left it, Dom lying on her bed. It didn’t look like he was going to slug her friend anymore.
"Dom and I are discussing some things," Ellen said.
"You’re coughing," Mary commented to Dom. "That’s not good."
That made Ellen realize that in her eagerness to explain her take on things, she had totally forgotten that he had continued to cough.
"I should have been noticing," she said. And to Dom, "You’ve probably got pneumonia. It’s a common after-effect. If we couldn’t get you to the hospital, I’d be worried about it." She grinned at him. "This is what you get for not obeying orders. This is why you were supposed to stay lying down."
"When was he up?" Mary demanded.
"He’s been in there with Elijah and me for, oh, three hours, now."
"And I thought you were in here sleeping!" Mary exclaimed, indignant. "You told me you’d stay in bed!"
"I did, sort of."
"Yes, just a different bed!" Ellen laughed.
Mary sighed. "Well, are you warm enough with just that sheet?" Mary was always thinking of her patient.
"Yes, I’m fine thanks." He grinned at her, genuinely liking the woman who had taken care of him since he came to. Then he looked accusingly at Ellen. "Does she know?" he asked.
"She knows enough. I’ll probably tell her the rest. And she knows what I was about to tell you, too."
"You said spiritual level ..."
Ellen looked up at Mary. " I’d still rather talk to him alone, if you don’t mind. Then we’ll both go in my room and you’ll have your bed to yourself for the rest of the night."
"Ookayyy. Just let me know." Ellen waited until Mary went out.
"Spiritual level." She sighed, "You’re really going to think I’m crazy." She looked at him for a moment, then her lips quirked. "Maybe not.
"Anyway, forgive me if I put this in Christian terms. It’s not because I think that Christianity is more right than any other, but just that it’s what I’m familiar with. A verse I’ve memorized from the Bible is Acts 2:17 - ‘And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams.’
"What I have come to believe is that – what's being referenced is what I call the Christ spirit. I don’t mean Jesus, I mean the spirit of God that Jesus attained to and that He said each of us can and will eventually attain. I don’t know what other religions would call it. But I believe that it comes to each person, now, in this time, in accordance with how ‘pure’ or advanced a soul you are. ‘In the last days, I will pour out my Spirit’. I don’t think we’re going to have a ‘return of the Christ’ the way Christians expect. I think that there are hundreds or thousands of very advanced souls who reflect that Christ spirit and help us advance."
"And you think Elijah is one of those?" Dom interrupted.
"Yes, I do."
A whirlwind of thoughts went through Dom's mind. Half-formed thoughts suddenly came together like pieces of a puzzle and settled into a surprising pattern.
"To become a Buddha," he said, "all you have to do is realize that you are already a Buddha. In other words, find the child in yourself."
"Oh." Ellen was taken aback. "So all I really had to say was," she stopped and laughed shortly, "Miranda Otto’s quote again: the innocence of a child, the wisdom of a ninety-year-old, and the grace of an angel."
"I hadn’t realized it before," Dom continued the thought, "Christ and Buddha are the same thing."
"Well of course they are," Ellen retorted. "Do you really think God sends one kind of message to one part of the world and another kind to another part?"
"Heh. Lighe as Buddha I had thought of. Lighe as Christ I had not."
"Well, let’s not get carried away with it. When you’re talking in Christian-idiom heavy English, that has kind of the wrong implication. But very full of the Christ spirit, yes."
"Yeah." Dom was silent again and Ellen sighed,
Then, "Anyway, in trying to make sure that we understood each other, we kind of got sidetracked. The point I was making is that he had sex with me because he is so Christ-like."
"Oh, that’s a different slant on Christ-like!"
"Isn’t it though? But it’s not a new idea. Remember that a nun is supposed to be the bride of Christ, and Jesus was followed around by crowds of people. You can’t tell me it was just a desire to hear him speak. Krishna is noted for his sexual prowess. The girls followed him around hoping for marriage with him, and he is supposed to have satisfied a lot of them.
"What I’m trying to say is that when someone has this Christ-light, or Buddha childlikeness, or ... or the blue aura of Krishna, they are likely to become very sexually attractive. And since they are so full of love, and so innocent, and want to spread love, they tend to do it that way."
Dom was silent a long time, hands tucked under his head, staring at the ceiling. Finally he said, very quietly, "Are you telling me that I have to expect him to go around doing that?"
"No! I think you have to stop him from doing that. Or maybe I have to stop him. But I’m not the one who’s going to be with him all the time."
"But..." Dom hesitated.
"If he is so full of love, if he loves everybody - and I’m not saying you’re wrong; it makes sense to me - it answers things I had wondered about, but ..." he stopped and took a breath, then spat it out. "If he would have sex with anybody, then what am I?"
"Necessary," Ellen said immediately. "That’s actually something I’ve thought about today. He loves you, Dom. It’s your love he needs. And I don't mean he would actually have sex with everybody. He hasn't been doing that before now, has he?"
"No. He looks at people sometimes, though ... " He closed his eyes to say words that were hard for him " ... with so much love. Most people don't do that unless they're planning sex. But before this ... there was only me. He's so shy. I never thought ... I would have said he would never ... "
"He’s so innocent," Ellen said. "I doubt that he's ever been put in such a position before. Very intimate. And ..." she actually blushed, "with someone ready to take advantage.
"Like I said to begin with, I didn’t understand at first." She reached out and touched his shoulder. "You’re part of the plan, Dom. You. Not some interchangeable person."
Dom turned back to look at her. Somehow she had explained Elijah's behavior while reinforcing Dom's own
opinion that his partner was special, put Dom at ease and even made him feel special, and even implied that her intrusion on their relationship was a good and even inevitable thing. "You’re very wise," he said thoughtfully.
Ellen grinned. "Well, I’m God, remember? But I don’t really feel all that wise. Falling in love with a boy is not the wisest thing I ever did, and jumping in bed with him probably ranks right up there with stupid. I plead not guilty, though, on the basis of being my childlike Buddha-self, and responding innocently."
Dom laughed uproariously. "Oh, that was good!"
"Once in a while I get one in there." Her grin turned pensive. "However, to continue the analogy, I want to return to innocence before I run out of time. So, do you forgive him?"
Dom shrugged. "Oh, yes. I would anyway."
"I mean, do you still think he should apologize?"
"No, I guess not. I can live with it."
Ellen looked down at the floor. "How about me? Can you live with me?"
Dom jerked up on an elbow. "You mean permanently?"
Ellen laughed at him. "No. I just meant can you live with the knowledge that I was there? Can we be friends in the future? Do you mind if he and I continue to be friends?"
Dom laid back down, stared at the ceiling, thought about it. "I honestly don’t know. I like you. I respect you. What this will do to us, Lighe and me, I don’t know yet." He turned to look at her. "But I do like you. Let’s go back in the other room."
Ellen stood and held out her hand to him. "You're rather wise yourself, you know," she said.